Christene LeDoux (christeneledoux) wrote,
Christene LeDoux
christeneledoux

in the lieu of bus fare...

In lieu of bus fare....

...I opted for red wine & chocolate.
£3 return is what I would have spent.
In US dollars, that's $6.

Sometimes you gotta take the sulfites and sugar over the quicker
transport.

At least that is what I convinced myself of .... a week into being back
on British ground.

I really just needed a quick fix for this otherwise
nail-clawing, heart-wrenching-leaving-my-safe-ground, friends & family
annual trek back to Europe.

Why this year was so hard... why I kicked and screamed all the way to
Heathrow... I have no idea.

But I did. So that is that.

And I suppose it's no different than my entire life.
All the life stops that changed everything, every-time.

They say every seven years you change.
Every cell in your body changes at seven-year intervals ; emotional,
physical and mental.

I guess it is time.

Come to think of it, I can really feel the bend as I wind round that
next seven-year interval.

And like those of the past...
Kicking and screaming on my way to training in Washington DC
to go teach in Ghana, Africa, landing safely on my way
at the Grand Canyon instead.
I would have clawed at the big blue sky if it was possible to stay in Colorado....
and literally leaving buckets of tears on a long trail while saying goodbye to
San Francisco for Nashville.

Was it ever really different than now?

Another place, another time... another last ditch effort to keep things
the same. Avoid as much change as possible ... all the while
aching and bleeding for any sign of it.
And when it does inevitably come and it's filled every possible
space I thought safe from it, it seems eventually... I do give in.

So in lieu of bus fare.. I have chosen to celebrate yet another
safe passage to the next thing...

...with chocolate and wine.
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