Christene LeDoux (christeneledoux) wrote,
Christene LeDoux
christeneledoux

too many to remember...

The time has come to fill my walls
with photo's and words from my
past.

I don't exactly when or how
it happened... that I felt this nagging
urge...this complete obsessive need
to pull every photo from every year
of my life to surface....
to travel down memory lane
on a daily, daily, daily basis...
but whenever it came is besides
the point. It's here.

I study each photo carefully
to remember each day and each
person and if I am lucky, the feeling
that was so powerful, it took up
the entire picture.

Was I happy?

Did I smile for the camera and
say cheese without regard to what
was really on my mind?
Isn't that what we do?

So how do I know what was
really inside that day?

As time goes... is it even traceable?

Does it get to the point of too
many to remember?

Is that when we begin retail
therapy, progressive groups
and life changes like massive
weight loss, getting our teeth
fixed and changing our hair
altogether?

Does my new photo collage
tell me all that?

Can I wake up each day
with my smiling past staring
me down... and feel like today is
even better?

This is what getting older
feels like.
It's not tangible but palpable.

I swear I can really feel it.
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